Wisdom Values Relationships

We all want our lives to count. We want to matter. To be validated.

Isn’t this why Facebook and Instagram “likes” are a thing?

And this is why rejection, bullying, and loneliness feel so cold and cruel.

We resonate with Susan Sarandon’s words in “Shall We Dance:”

”We need a witness to our lives. There’s a billion people on the planet; what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage [or a friendship, or church family], you’re promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things, all of it, all of the time, every day.  You’re saying ‘Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it.  Your life will not go unwitnessed because I will be your witness’.”

The problem is, people can let us down. They forget, don’t notice, and sometimes don’t care.

Wisdom finds validation in relationship with God. Then, we are filled up so that we can give to others, whether or not they give back.

Wisdom knows that God remembers.

¹⁰  God is not unjust; he will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them. (Hebrews 6:10)

Wisdom realizes that God notices.
⁹  For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to him.             (2 Chronicles 16:9a)

Wisdom knows “we count” to God.

²⁹  Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father.
³⁰  And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.
³¹  So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.   (Matthew 10:29-31)

How we love to share good news. It’s just not the same to keep it to ourselves? We want someone to hear about the big fish we caught, the new chapter we wrote, to notice our new haircut, or to know when we are hurting…to be a witness to our lives.

God knows. He cares. And so should we.

We were created to share, to encourage, to have abiding friendships. “Christ in us” means we will also care, we will also notice, we will remember, and show another that they count.

Wisdom values relationships, and learns to care as Jesus does.

A vivid memory stands in my mind which continues to teach me. A number of years ago Wyndham and I were in the parking lot in our car, preparing to leave from church.

Then Wyndham, out of the corner of his eyes, noticed one of the sisters crying as she was leaving. He stopped our car, got out, and went over to her as he put his arm on her shoulder to ask, “What is wrong? Why are your crying.” I had not even seen her.

Wisdom notices.

It’s so easy to walk right by someone in need, thinking someone else will take care of it—or I’m not his/her closest friend so it’s none of my business.

Truth is, he noticed, he cared, he remembered her situation, he stopped what he was doing and altered his planned course…to tell her “you matter.”  (As I just read this blog to him he told me he remembers that time because he  struggled in his mind on whether to stop, as he was hurrying to drop me off before heading to get to a Patriot’s football game. Maybe that’s why I remember this so vividly.)

We are offered this reassurance from God, and as we have been given, we then can offer it to others.

We, like God, can say to others (by our words and actions)….I notice you, I remember you, you matter, you count.

As I walked beside a lake a few years ago, these two chairs were a vivid reminder of our innate need for relationship. God planned for us to be in community. He planned for us to be in his church…a family, a body, a place for unity in relationships where we can be vulnerable, gracious, truthful, and full of love. Where we count.

Wisdom values relationship, finds it in God, and then passes it on to others.