How can we know what is real, when so much information surrounding us is false, deceitful, obscene, or made for “reality TV” clicks? Such propaganda, including reality tv, is carefully crafted for ratings, and to boost the ratings and clicks, the crazier the better. Such is “reality.” 

Fact-checks of reels and interviews often expose them as fraudulent creations, intended by their promoters for income, influence, and/or attention. And with AI and deep fakes, now we can’t even trust recordings of people speaking, as their faces and voices can be recreated to say anything someone manipulates them to say. And let’s face it. People are gullible, and it takes effort and some level of expertise to check facts and to separate truth from lies. It accomplishes little to point out to someone who shares such information that according to the primary sources such as actual transcripts of interviews and meetings, much has been altered and falsified. Also, it seems that many lack the moral courage to hold to things they once believed and espoused when they meet resistance from someone who may try to discredit them, make their life miserable, or even fire them. 

Years ago, I became utterly frustrated and discouraged while trying to relate to someone I love who made life choices and decisions that made no sense to me, whatsoever. This beloved person had a very different upbringing than I. He grew up in an orphanage in a country that had been ravaged by an evil, amoral dictator. I spent time in his country, witnessing people ravaged by such a dictatorship and oligarchy. I listened to tearful, traumatic regrets of one who had been called into military combat and forced to move poor families out of their homes, because the dictator wanted their lands to build his opulent palace, his pet project. The displaced became homeless, and orphanages became filled. The lucky families were relegated to cinder block, cold, dilapidated housing. The children who didn’t make it to or ran away from the orphanages lived in the sewers. I climbed down in those sewers and met some of the young orphans living there. My life was forever changed.

Though the revolution happened in 1989, and my visits were throughout the 90s, I could see the effects of the ravaging. Poverty had become common, except for the small elite class, orphanages, with horrific conditions, were filled beyond capacity, and there was an atrocious lack of healthcare. I could not drink the water, lest I would be vomiting the entire trip. On one visit after the revolution, I  could see a very few glimmers of hope where foreign aid had stepped in. Vast numbers of dogs still roamed the city, as they were also displaced when families were forced from their homes. All of this happened because of a dictator and his entourage’s lust for greed and power. 

I had the blessing and privilege of meeting many of these orphans, and still communicate with some of them. To my blessing and benefit, one became my dearly loved son when he was twelve years old. My quest to better understand him, along with my experiences through the brutal illness and death of my spouse, became the two hardest but most profound “teachers” in my life. These changed me.  A counselor once told me, at the height of my despair during our early adoption journey, that while many things didn’t make sense to me, as one who was raised with love and security, I should understand that  my son’s thinking and actions made sense to him. That piece of wisdom has helped me time and again, encouraging me to better see, hear, and understand the “other.” 

While I don’t wish to engage in political debate, this wisdom passed on to me helps me in our current climate, one that I have never, in my seventy years, previously experienced. Since it seems difficult for any politician to hold to integrity, corruption has never been relegated to one party, and virtual connection makes the transgressions more visible. Reality TV and politics have become intertwined. However, when a politician speaks from the context of politics, the Constitution, and history to an administration that is not versed in such but is keen in “reality tv” and making deals, exchanges between the two contexts are like speaking in different languages or shouting into the wind. 

I’m certainly no analyst, but I observe that politicians speak in political contexts. Since our president is not a politician or historian, he perpetrates and perpetuates what he knows. Stuff made for reality tv, which is quite far from what is truly real. At least the reality that matters. Contexts and presuppositions always play a big role in communication. I realize I am not immune to such, but we can only make progress when we realize we have them. 

I don’t watch news stations, but I read transcriptions of statements such as comments after the meeting with Zelinsky in the Oval Office stating, “this is going to be great television,” or previously sexually charged statements (too vulgar to write about) boasting of what powerful men can do to women (as if abuse is a right of “powerful” men), or a 2016 quote, “I could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters,” or making fun of a disabled reporter. To me, these scream both reality TV and seared consciences. As I watched amoral cabinet members and staff chosen that seem to be the antithesis to expertise in the areas needed, and partnership with a billionaire who wants to go to Mars, produces many children from multiple women while disregarding interests of the poor and aliens (those with whom Jesus engaged, loved, and protected), I realized that while this might produce good reality television ratings, the real reality of love, empathy, and morality feels completely absent. (Okay, I guess this is an exception to my practice, as I realize am touching on our political situation. I just don’t know how to express such a deep concern without speaking of the elephant in the living room. Hang on, I am heading toward Jesus.)

Thankfully, real life is not reality tv, but sadly and tragically, because of false realities created, countless people suffer and are led astray through hypocritical lying, while consciences seemingly become seared. The scriptures speak of this process in 1 Timothy 4, while referring to a different kind of false teaching. 

So, what then is reality? What will last, despite what happens to “empires” or nations? As the song title states, “Love Remains.” No one can ever take that from me. No one can steal the relationships of love I share with my God, family, friends, and neighbors. And no one can force me to not love “the other.” This is what reality means to me.

So, how do I respond to what is happening around me? I often don’t know, but I keep coming back to this. Love God. Love people. Serve them. Care. Notice. Watch. Listen.  Follow Jesus, as he shows us how to see and hear one another, treasuring each other as fellow humans created in God’s image as equals, thus caring for physical, emotional, and spiritual needs. And pray for enemies. Loving enemies is a high calling, one I find doesn’t come easy. Jesus washed Judas’ feet, along with the others. 

I close with three truths that to me, describe “real” reality. I believe these will not bring about ratings for reality TV, but I do believe they can bring light to a dark world. And these express what I believe is “really real.”

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails. 1 Cor 13:4-8

For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Romans 8:38-39

“Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Mt 22:36-40