Wednesday Wisdom With Wyndham – 116

Wisdom Sits

Is it possible to make a difference in someone’s life just by sitting down beside them? You may think, as you pull a chair beside someone that you are just casually sitting by them, nothing more. “Just sitting” beside someone seemed insignificant to me for many years, but I have since learned its importance. This lesson concerning the importance of “just sitting” pierced my heart while in a stark and dingy hospital room in Romania during the late ’90s. The scene before me changed my worldview and gave me new, deepened convictions, compelling me to grow my heart. I was so struck that I captured the moment by photo (with an old-fashioned camera). I’ll never forget this boy’s dark hair and simple cap framing his sunken face. He was obviously ill. I took this picture because I never wanted to forget him, or the woman sitting beside him. My heart went out to this young boy, whose life would end before the day was over.

I wondered about the significance of the woman sitting beside the bed. I learned she was not related to the boy; she really didn’t even know him. But, in her travels, she had seen children like him die alone, as orphans. She put her life in Ireland on hold, and volunteered her time, simply by sitting alongside the sick children as they died. She believed that no one should have to die alone. My heart still swells with emotion as I write this memory.

In the Scriptures, we can read about Job’s illness and suffering. Job’s friends understood the importance of sitting beside their friend:

 When Job’s three friends, Eliphaz the Temanite, Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, heard about all the troubles that had come upon him, they set out from their homes and met together by agreement to go and sympathize with him and comfort him.
When they saw him from a distance, they could hardly recognize him; they began to weep aloud, and they tore their robes and sprinkled dust on their heads.
Then they sat on the ground with him for seven days and seven nights. No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was. (Job 2:11-13)

Job’s friends acted fabulously—that is until they began to open their mouths to explain all the reasons why Job was suffering. Then, they became “unhelpful,” and discouraging. They teach us valuable lessons. We must discern when it is best to talk and when it is more helpful to just sit and be with someone. Most of the time we don’t know the reasons “why” someone is ill, except that we live in a temporary, but fallen world.  Let the one who is suffering give the cues as to what is most helpful.

Wisdom comes when we take the time to listen in order to understand. When we do this, we will know better what to say and how to respond. Wyndham always excelled in this quality. When we practice this. we may even find ourselves, like the woman pictured above, sitting with strangers. She saw a need, and out of the compassion in her heart, she responded.

I love to walk and talk with others. It is not as easy for me to sit and be silent; however, I have had to learn to do so through my current situation. Daily, when I transfer Wyndham to his hospital bed in our room for his late afternoon rest, I bring our big, black office chair into the room. From this chair, I feed him dinner when he awakes, and most every night from 9 PM until 1 AM, I can be found sitting in that chair beside his bed. I am usually studying during this time, while he watches something on television; thus, I am quiet except for inquiring about his needs. The important thing, to him (and me), is that I am sitting there beside him.

We are not alone. Not only does God sit with me (and Wyndham) as I sit beside the bed, but amazingly, I know that He has invited me to sit with Him! This helps me to remember that these difficult times, for us all, are temporal. We have an amazing seat God has given us in the heavenly places. Yes, he has already given this to all who are Christians. This seat is not just reserved for life after death, but we can sit there now! From this seat, our perspective on caring, giving, and hope can be transformed to be like Christ’s. May we all better comprehend the immeasurable and incomparable riches of His grace, expressed through Jesus’ kindness to us.

But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy,
made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.
And God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus,
in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus (Eph 2:4-7, emphasis added).




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  1. Jennifer Lambert

    Jeanie, as always God’s timing through you is perfect. Tomorrow I am having major surgery to remove a pancreatic tumor. I have never had any major illness or surgery in my life. I know I will learn a lot about what is helpful and what is not helpful. Some people have a natural gift of compassion, I do not. More often than not, I have made unhelpful comments! I pray to grow a lot through this time, and I KNOW I will treasure even more those compassionate souls who will be by my side. My husband Doug especially.

    • jeanieshaw

      Jennifer, I have been praying for you and will keep you covered Thursday and the days to follow. I know God will keep so close to you. I pray you feel his peace and comfort throughout this very difficult ordeal. Praying for the best. I have a playlist of worship songs on trust that helps me tremendously I will try to figure out how to get to you. I love you and am so sorry you are having to go through this. Love, Jeanie

  2. Lori Seavey

    How moving. That photo brought tears to my eyes. What an incredible heart that woman has to not want him to be alone in his last hours. I love your writing. It always moves me. You are an inspiration. Keeping you both in my prayers. xoxo

  3. lorydem

    This was the first thing I read this morning. Surely it is God’s pure wisdom. Thank you for sharing this. I am looking for my seat.Sent from my Sprint Samsung Galaxy Note5.

  4. Susan Parra

    This is one of my husband’s love languages. Thank you for the reminder to just sit and be present. I also appreciated the reminder to take clues from the suffering on how best to help. Will be praying for you.
    I am in The Hartford Church with The wonderful Gonet family!!


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About Jeanie Shaw

After retiring from forty-five years in full-time ministry, Jeanie Shaw went back to school to earn her master’s and doctorate in spiritual formation and discipleship. She also serves as a certified Christian life coach who loves helping people discover the joy, peace, and purpose that come from finding and following God’s plan for their lives. She has taught classes and workshops all over the world and has written numerous books. She has four grown children, eight grandchildren, and a golden retriever who thinks he is human. When she is not reading, writing, coaching, teaching, or enjoying her family she might be found walking along rivers, learning new lessons about life.

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