Wisdom and Surrender

Surrender. There is something about that word that sounds frightening, evoking a feeling of torture and a ceasing to exist. Often, one feels trapped and surrounded before they surrender, and then as a last resort.

Why is surrender so hard? Usually, I think, it is because we feel we are being confronted by an enemy, someone out to harm us. This is the surrender we read about in history books. This is the type of surrender we witness on westerns and crime shows. It’s a last resort before being taken captive.

I was looking around my house the other day and noticed many “instruments of surrender.” My bedroom and study have some curious pieces of décor. Parked in front of my bookcase is an electric lift. It looks intimidating, and it is. As I maneuver Wyndham in this lift, I envision absolute surrender. He cannot move and is dependent on someone or something to lift him. I would be sad and scared to be transported this way, but Wyndham, because he has surrendered,  finds peace and even humor amidst the situation.

On Tuesdays and Fridays our son, Sam, works from our home so that I can go to meetings and have appointments away from home. When I returned today, Sam was in the process of transporting Wyndham from his electric wheelchair to his hospital bed. As Wyndham was hanging in mid-air from the lift upon my arrival, I asked him how his day was. In his muffled reply he got the words out, “Just hanging around,” which made us all laugh. I appreciate his ability to laugh amidst such difficult circumstances. This disease has forced surrender to every physical aspect of life. He has no choices concerning movement. Wyndham must completely surrender to this instrument in order to be lifted and carried. As I view this lift, I often think of the lyrics, “All to Jesus, I surrender, all to Him I freely give. I will ever love and trust Him, in His presence daily live…I surrender all.”

Wyndham makes the process as easy as possible, because he is completely surrendered. There is no resistance to the process. As I witness the surrender involved, I can’t help but think of ways that instead of completely surrendering to trials I face, I often want to run, screaming, to get away from the instrument of surrender God might be using to help me. I would rather get to where I want to go on my own strength. In full surrender, however, we are lifted up. James 4:10 comes to life for me.

Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

And, as I surrender so that He can lift me, He will also carry and sustain me.

Even to your old age and gray hairs I am he, I am he who will sustain you. I have made you and I will carry you; I will sustain you and I will rescue you. (Is 46:4)

Also, alongside the bed, near an oxygen machine and a nebulizer, is another “instrument of surrender” called a CPAP machine. The initials stand for Continuous Positive Airway Pressure. When apnea occurs, or the lungs can’t take in enough air, this machine forces air into the lungs. Wyndham surrenders to this machine each night in order to have air continually blown into his lungs. Likewise, it is when I surrender to Jesus’ control for my life, His life-giving breath fills my soul. I must be still and let God’s Spirit fill me by attaching myself to His Words and His will so that His Spirit can fill me with “continuous positive Spirit pressure.”

 This is what God the LORD says— the Creator of the heavens, who stretches them out, who spreads out the earth with all that springs from it, who gives breath to its people, and life to those who walk on it:
“I, the LORD, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand…” (Is 42:5-6)

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.  (Rom 5:5, emphasis added)

As I look around at these instruments, I am reminded that it is in full surrender that we find true freedom. God is not the enemy. He does not want to harm us, but to save and love us. He is trustworthy. He will lift us up in due time and carry and sustain us all the way to heaven as He continually breathes life into us through His Spirit. We just have to surrender.